Guardian of the Hearth

I wrote this a few years ago but thought I'd share it here with you. If you disagree with it or hate it, that's fine, we can still be friends. Just between you and me, I don't even have a fireplace. But I can still guard the hearth. . . 

GUARDIAN OF THE HEARTH

What is a guardian of the hearth? First, what is a hearth?
It is the floor of a fireplace.
It is a vital center of the home.
It is synonymous with the word “home” itself.
The hearth was a place where all in the house would gather for warmth, light, company, and nourishment. It was quite literally
The heart of the home.
           
Therefore, a guardian of the hearth is one who watches over and protects home and family. A guardian of the hearth can be anyone. But is most likely, you. A guardian of the hearth may have been trained to be such from childhood. A pillar, generations in the making. Or she may be a pioneer in her field. She may have a quiver full of children, a bustling household, a single companion at her side or perhaps she is a family of one. No matter, her well-being and her refuge is of sacred importance. And through the years, her residence may change, its residents coming and going through various ages, stages, and phases, but the hearth stays the same.

She should know that the foundation under her feet, supporting her world, is God the Father, God the Son and God the Holy Ghost. She is defending the key components of an eternal family; prayer, scripture study, Sabbath day observance, family home evening, and spiritual growth in general. She is watchful of the nurturing and overall well-being of each spirit in her charge. Including her own. If there is anything virtuous lovely, of good report or praiseworthy, she not only seeks for it but makes it readily available in abundance for all who pass by.

 Her motto is, “Charity Never Faileth” Her direction is heaven. Her refuge, on her knees.

A guardian of the hearth should be ready for battle. Daily battle. Dressed always in the armor of God. She is not afraid to recognize the enemy, identify his hiding places, his strongholds, nor his attempts to infiltrate and destroy all that she holds dear. She is not afraid of the enemy at all but rather stares him down with her head held high and with the strength of God, she crushes his head. 

A guardian of the hearth is not afraid to be recognized as such. She disregards the opinion of the world and rather, focuses on upholding righteous traditions and cherishing sacred moments. She is in the business of memory-making and is always in search of that positive teaching moment. She is always ready to learn.

A guardian of the hearth should never underestimate her calling, her God-given power, nor her un-acclaimed influence for good.

A guardian of the hearth is beautiful. She is a daughter of God and a child of light. Her countenance is His. When she gives of her time, she gives of her love and His. Her hands are His hands. Her purpose, His.

She should know that while in the service of God, she will never miss out on anything that is truly worthwhile. And if she is ever weary. If she feels run down. If she begins to question her validity in this world, she should remember that her work matters, that she is never alone. Angels will buoy her up. The Holy Spirit will guide and The Son of God  will carry her.

Peter, a guardian of the hearth, said to Tabitha, “Daughter, arise.” Christ says it to you; “Daughter, arise!” Don't be ashamed to stand in this holy place he has prepared and reserved for you. YOU are the guardian of this holy place. . . called home.
Take your place and guard it well.                                                                    


Artwork by  Helen Allingham, "In The Nursury"

Easiest Pumpkin Chocolate Chip Cookies In Existence

If you're looking for a easy recipe to try this fall, look no further. These cookies require 3 ingredients. T.H.R.E.E. Not only are these cookies crazy easy to make, they are also kind of healthy. Last I checked, one cookie gets 2 Weight Watchers Points. Which my mom says is not too shabby.

The BIG BATCH makes 6 dozen. You'll need:
1 Large Can of Libby's Pumpkin
2 Spice Cake  mixes (any brand)
1 package of Mini Chocolate Chips

The little batch makes 3 dozen. You'll need:
1 15 oz. Can of Libby's Pumpkin
1 Spice Cake Mix
1 Cup of Mini Chocolate Chips

In a large bowl, beat the pumpkin and cake mix together until no white crumbs are leftover. Next add the chocolate chips. Spoon on a greased cookie sheet and bake at 350 for 18 - 20 minutes. (You can also cook them as muffins in a muffin tin. Baking times may vary based on altitude.
Voila Baby.

In the words of my articulate 12-year-old, "Holy crap, Mom, these are delicious."

What I'd Give. . . A Post by Aleena Birch

Annie and Zack

8 years ago when we moved into our home, Aleena and Randy Birch and their two adopted children brought us a plate of cookies and we became instant friends. Their beautiful children had special needs and I have been happy to provide respite care for the family pretty much ever since. It has been a very special thing to have them in our home. Over the years I have seen firsthand the individual obstacles they struggle with. Their mother, Aleena has graciously agreed to write a guest post to us moms, to help us understand what Fetal Alcohol Syndrome is and how harmful and PREVENTABLE it can be. As mothers and human beings it is our duty to protect those who cannot protect themselves. 

Aleena, you are a rock. I am in awe of your ability to stay strong and your determination to fight for these kids and others who suffer from FACS: 

"I write and share this message in honor of my 2 adopted children, for the many hopes and dreams I had when we first adopted them 16 years ago from a Russian orphanage, for the fun family experiences we would share, the chance for them to be educated and  grow up in an environment of love and endless opportunity and how we’ve had to adjust those hopes and dreams and try to find joy in simple accomplishments.

            Before the adoption we were given limited information about each child.  They were, and are, beautiful siblings, then 2 and 3 years old. We had seen pictures of them but it wasn’t until I held them in my arms for the first time and looked into their little faces that I knew something wasn’t quite right.

            They had some facial features that weren’t evident in the photos. I didn’t know what it meant, but it troubled me immediately. I had 3 biological children and the thought of mothering young siblings who may have special needs, beyond those that any child who had spent their early years in an orphanage, would have felt daunting to me.

            In spite of my concerns, I felt like these children were mine and no matter what challenges they might have, I would not leave them behind. I knew their transition from orphanage to our family would be hard for them, but I was in no way prepared for how intense the situation would become and how their yet undiagnosed birth defects would add to the challenges of the transition.

            As months turned into years and we visited many doctors and specialist we were advised that our new son and daughter had what was then referred to as Fetal Alcohol Syndrome - we had never even heard of it.

            Although we have had many joyous times watching out little ones enjoy new experiences, my husband and I have by necessity become very knowledgeable about the affects alcohol consumption has on a developing fetus.

            Three years ago, we came to realize that we were no longer safe in our own home due our son’s violent behaviors. Upon the advise of his doctors at the University Psychiatric hospital where he had spent over 2 months, we made the heart breaking decision, to have our son, barely 17, moved into a secure group home where he could be supervised.

            On that day I vowed I would do everything I could to educate others on the perils of consuming alcohol while pregnant.  I became and active member of the Utah Fetal Alcohol Coalition. While I do not speak for the coalition, I have spoken at numerous events and shared information that I hope will save, even one child, from having to live the more often than not tragic life, that my children, particularly my son has lived.

            September 9 is Fetal Alcohol Awareness Day. The 9th day of the 9th month was chosen to represent the 9 months of pregnancy and the time during which a pregnant woman must avoid consuming alcohol.  While my children were born in Russia, it is estimated that over 45,000 babies are born in the US with alcohol related birth defects.

            The names given to the variety of birth defects caused by the mother’s use of alcohol during pregnancy include: Fetal Alcohol Syndrome Disorder (FASD), Fetal Alcohol Symptoms (FAS), Fetal Alcohol Exposure (FAE) , and most recently Alcohol Related Neurological Disorder (ARND). Simply explained, they all refer to damage, usually to the child’s brain, cause by a mother’s use of alcohol.  Many times the damage is caused before there woman even knows she is pregnant!!

            Alcohol affects more newborns every year than Downs Syndrome, cystic fibrosis, spina bifida, and Sudden infant Death syndrom combined!  When a pregnant woman drinks alcohol, it passes through the placenta and is absorbed by the unborn child. Alcohol impaired children often look normal, and tend to go unnoticed by the schools, usually being referred to as disruptive or retarded. Children with alcohol related problems often have multiple handicaps, including mental retardation, facial changes, brain changes, learning and behavioral problems, stunted growth, low birth weight, heart defects fetal death, and increased risk for abuse of substances, etc. The list goes on and on.  Some may have normal IQs, but very poor behavior, subtle and multiple learning disabilities, lack attention, poor memory, poor judgment and difficulties in verbal reasoning/auditory processing.  Many times these children and adults are mis-diagnosed as having ADD, ADHD, and other similar problems.  Such children will often require life long special medical, familial and community assistance to maximize their potential

            Alcohol is a solvent. It raises havoc on the unborn child’s brain. The tragedy is that alcohol is not only the number one cause of mental retardation in the United States, but IT IS COMPLETELY preventable!!

            There is no known safe amount of alcohol use during pregnancy and no known time during pregnancy when alcohol use is safe.  Alcohol can do more damage to the developing embryo and fetus than illegal drugs - even heroin and meth!

            All drinks with alcohol can (and most likely will) harm an unborn child. Unfortunately some Doctors still say that a glass of wine at the end of the day is fine for a pregnant woman, but even though the woman may barely feel the effects, the fetus will be deluged in alcohol and may never fully recover from that single drink. To put it simply, women should not drink alcohol if they are planning a pregnancy, not avoiding pregnancy, at any time during pregnancy, or while breast feeding.  If you are pregnant or are planning to get pregnant, no alcohol is the ONLY choice.  If you drank before you realize the dangers, stop now and see your doctor.

Beautiful Annie


This is a special girl, to say the very least a quirky girl. Born to a mother who consumed alcohol during her pregnancy, my adopted daughter struggles everyday to do even the simplest of normally routine tasks. She'll never be able to drive a car, live alone, list goes on and on. You'd be surprised what her brain hasn't allowed her to yet learn. Sure, she has mastered some life skills and she may yet catch on to some things. You know what I would give for my Annie and my son, her biological brother Zack, a chance at something resembling a normal life?





Handsome Zack

PLEASE- if you know anyone who is trying to get pregnant or is pregnant share this message. You don't have to be a drunk for your unborn baby to be irreversibly affected.
Sincerily,
Aleena Birch

If You Don't Know For Sure. . .

Lyn Frohlich. 

You know those times when you are fortunate to rub shoulders with someone truly wise? Someone who says things on occasion that stick with you and become part of your life? I had one of those times when I started working for the State Appeals Department as a legal secretary and met my "trainer," Lyn Frohlich. Despite our age difference, we were total nerds and got along very quickly. She started calling me "wunderkindt." (I think my parents must have paid her to do that or something.) We'd play Scrabble at lunch sometimes and had a "word of the day" that we would try to incorporate in our conversations. Triskaidekaphobia was one of my favorites. She had a wire tree on the corner of her desk that she'd decorate for every holiday/occasion. Of course never on company time. She's a strait arrow and completely golden.

That reminds me, I really need to call her.

Anyway, one of my favorite things that I've taken from our friendship is her sayings. Like this german quote she kept by her desk; "Geteilte Freude ist doppelte Freude, geteilter Schmerz ist halber Schmerz." Which translated means, "shared joy is double joy, shared sorrow is halved sorrow." Isn't that great? But my absolute favorite saying that has really stuck with me is, "If you don't know for sure, think the best."

Let me say that again, "IF YOU DON'T KNOW FOR SURE, THINK THE BEST!"
How many times do we find ourselves in a situation in which we have done everything we can and must wait? Well, this statement applies. Whether you're waiting for news from a doctor or you're afraid the dark. Uncertainty so easily lends itself to fear. Unnecessary fear. The ever-inspiring Michael J. Fox wisely said, “Don’t spend a lot of time imagining the worst-case scenario.  It rarely goes down as you imagine it will, and if by some fluke it does, you will have lived it twice.” So next time you find yourself in that situation, I recommend you cover your bases, be prepared for the worst, but by all means, IF YOU DON'T KNOW FOR SURE, THINK THE BEST.

Go put that in your back pocket, and save it for a rainy day.
I think I'm going to go watch Pollyanna now.

Birthdays. Who cares???

Birthdays.
What's the big deal? The older you get, the more you realize that it's just a day like any other in this miserable, hum-drum life. Right? Wellllll, I don't know.

You see, I was very fortunate to grow up in a home where my mom made every birthday a big deal. She would attempt to secretly decorate the living room the night before with homemade decorations about YOU! She'd make a cake. There was always a present from each member of the family. She made sure you knew you were important, you were remembered and you were celebrated. You'd go to sleep that night knowing that you were loved. Mom. . . you're amazing. And you set the bar mighty high. I know not everyone grew up with that, or can offer that to their family and that's okay.

But here's the thing though, I don't think that birthdays HAVE to have decorations, parties, cake, or presents. But at the end of the day, there's really one thing that stands out:

Being remembered.

I really think THAT is the big deal. That is why birthdays are wonderful. They give you an opportunity to show another human being that you are glad they exist. It is an opportunity to communicate genuine admiration. An opportunity to remember them.

I see birthdays as opportunities.

It's really important to me that I try (emphasis on the word TRY) to express my love to my loved ones on their birthdays. I may not be very good at throwing parties, I may not be able to bake a gourmet cake, or give the perfect gift. I can only do what I can do. And for my distant loved ones, at the very least,  I CAN write a message on a piece of paper and send it to that person or call them on the phone.
THAT is something I CAN do. Something I totally suck at is celebrating friends birthdays. I just can't keep track, even with the help of social media. In order to stay sane and not set unrealistic expectations for myself, I have limited my birthday celebration efforts to my immediate and extended family. It's what I had to do.

Over the years, my observations of extended family members birthdays has evolved. After first getting married I didn't really do anything. I was too wrapped up in my life to even think about it. But I always felt like I was missing out on a chance to show them I cared. I felt like I was sending a message by not sending a message. So as soon as I could I made it my goal to send a card via snail mail to each person for their birthdays. I loved the feeling I got knowing I told them I loved them in such a way. For two years, I tried to send a gift to each person. It was harder and costed much more, even though the gifts I sent were usually small and rather inexpensive, it added up. This year, I had to go back to sending just a card. Why am I telling you this? It's definitely not to brag. If anything, its to show you that I failed, I tried, and I learned. And what I learned is that giving a gesture of remembrance, a phone call or a card in the mail, is not only possible, but it's worth while. I learned that I love how I feel as I close the envelope and drop the card in the mailbox. And yes, I totally am aware that there is a huge possibility that it's not appreciated. Maybe the receiver couldn't care less or may feel disappointed that there is no gift or cash inside. In fact, I'm quite sure they won't remember what I wrote. They won't remember what the card looked like. But there is one thing that they will remember;
That I remembered them.
That I love them.

And to me, THAT is what birthdays are all about.

So there are three things that I use to celebrate long-distance birthdays:
1. A reusable birthday calendar. (Thanks Mom).


2. A bunch of birthday cards.

3. Stamps

Once upon a time, U.S. Postage was so much less, but whatever it costs right now (?0.47?) is really still worth it.

So who cares about birthdays? I do. If I can give you any advice from all of this mumbo-jumbo, I'd say, set realistic goals for yourself, keep it simple, and I highly recommend taking advantage of this yearly opportunity to remember someone who matters to you. Happy Birthday!!!