Birthdays.
What's the big deal? The older you get, the more you realize that it's just a day like any other in this miserable, hum-drum life. Right? Wellllll, I don't know.
You see, I was very fortunate to grow up in a home where my mom made every birthday a big deal. She would attempt to secretly decorate the living room the night before with homemade decorations about YOU! She'd make a cake. There was always a present from each member of the family. She made sure you knew you were important, you were remembered and you were celebrated. You'd go to sleep that night knowing that you were loved. Mom. . . you're amazing. And you set the bar mighty high. I know not everyone grew up with that, or can offer that to their family and that's okay.
But here's the thing though, I don't think that birthdays HAVE to have decorations, parties, cake, or presents. But at the end of the day, there's really one thing that stands out:
Being remembered.
I really think THAT is the big deal. That is why birthdays are wonderful. They give you an opportunity to show another human being that you are glad they exist. It is an opportunity to communicate genuine admiration. An opportunity to remember them.
I see birthdays as opportunities.
It's really important to me that I try (emphasis on the word TRY) to express my love to my loved ones on their birthdays. I may not be very good at throwing parties, I may not be able to bake a gourmet cake, or give the perfect gift. I can only do what I can do. And for my distant loved ones, at the very least, I CAN write a message on a piece of paper and send it to that person or call them on the phone.
THAT is something I CAN do. Something I totally suck at is celebrating friends birthdays. I just can't keep track, even with the help of social media. In order to stay sane and not set unrealistic expectations for myself, I have limited my birthday celebration efforts to my immediate and extended family. It's what I had to do.
Over the years, my observations of extended family members birthdays has evolved. After first getting married I didn't really do anything. I was too wrapped up in my life to even think about it. But I always felt like I was missing out on a chance to show them I cared. I felt like I was sending a message by not sending a message. So as soon as I could I made it my goal to send a card via snail mail to each person for their birthdays. I loved the feeling I got knowing I told them I loved them in such a way. For two years, I tried to send a gift to each person. It was harder and costed much more, even though the gifts I sent were usually small and rather inexpensive, it added up. This year, I had to go back to sending just a card. Why am I telling you this? It's definitely not to brag. If anything, its to show you that I failed, I tried, and I learned. And what I learned is that giving a gesture of remembrance, a phone call or a card in the mail, is not only possible, but it's worth while. I learned that I love how I feel as I close the envelope and drop the card in the mailbox. And yes, I totally am aware that there is a huge possibility that it's not appreciated. Maybe the receiver couldn't care less or may feel disappointed that there is no gift or cash inside. In fact, I'm quite sure they won't remember what I wrote. They won't remember what the card looked like. But there is one thing that they will remember;
That I remembered them.
That I love them.
And to me, THAT is what birthdays are all about.
So there are three things that I use to celebrate long-distance birthdays:
1. A reusable birthday calendar. (Thanks Mom).
2. A bunch of birthday cards.
Once upon a time, U.S. Postage was so much less, but whatever it costs right now (?0.47?) is really still worth it.
So who cares about birthdays? I do. If I can give you any advice from all of this mumbo-jumbo, I'd say, set realistic goals for yourself, keep it simple, and I highly recommend taking advantage of this yearly opportunity to remember someone who matters to you. Happy Birthday!!!
What's the big deal? The older you get, the more you realize that it's just a day like any other in this miserable, hum-drum life. Right? Wellllll, I don't know.
You see, I was very fortunate to grow up in a home where my mom made every birthday a big deal. She would attempt to secretly decorate the living room the night before with homemade decorations about YOU! She'd make a cake. There was always a present from each member of the family. She made sure you knew you were important, you were remembered and you were celebrated. You'd go to sleep that night knowing that you were loved. Mom. . . you're amazing. And you set the bar mighty high. I know not everyone grew up with that, or can offer that to their family and that's okay.
But here's the thing though, I don't think that birthdays HAVE to have decorations, parties, cake, or presents. But at the end of the day, there's really one thing that stands out:
Being remembered.
I really think THAT is the big deal. That is why birthdays are wonderful. They give you an opportunity to show another human being that you are glad they exist. It is an opportunity to communicate genuine admiration. An opportunity to remember them.
I see birthdays as opportunities.
It's really important to me that I try (emphasis on the word TRY) to express my love to my loved ones on their birthdays. I may not be very good at throwing parties, I may not be able to bake a gourmet cake, or give the perfect gift. I can only do what I can do. And for my distant loved ones, at the very least, I CAN write a message on a piece of paper and send it to that person or call them on the phone.
THAT is something I CAN do. Something I totally suck at is celebrating friends birthdays. I just can't keep track, even with the help of social media. In order to stay sane and not set unrealistic expectations for myself, I have limited my birthday celebration efforts to my immediate and extended family. It's what I had to do.
Over the years, my observations of extended family members birthdays has evolved. After first getting married I didn't really do anything. I was too wrapped up in my life to even think about it. But I always felt like I was missing out on a chance to show them I cared. I felt like I was sending a message by not sending a message. So as soon as I could I made it my goal to send a card via snail mail to each person for their birthdays. I loved the feeling I got knowing I told them I loved them in such a way. For two years, I tried to send a gift to each person. It was harder and costed much more, even though the gifts I sent were usually small and rather inexpensive, it added up. This year, I had to go back to sending just a card. Why am I telling you this? It's definitely not to brag. If anything, its to show you that I failed, I tried, and I learned. And what I learned is that giving a gesture of remembrance, a phone call or a card in the mail, is not only possible, but it's worth while. I learned that I love how I feel as I close the envelope and drop the card in the mailbox. And yes, I totally am aware that there is a huge possibility that it's not appreciated. Maybe the receiver couldn't care less or may feel disappointed that there is no gift or cash inside. In fact, I'm quite sure they won't remember what I wrote. They won't remember what the card looked like. But there is one thing that they will remember;
That I remembered them.
That I love them.
And to me, THAT is what birthdays are all about.
So there are three things that I use to celebrate long-distance birthdays:
1. A reusable birthday calendar. (Thanks Mom).
2. A bunch of birthday cards.
3. Stamps
Once upon a time, U.S. Postage was so much less, but whatever it costs right now (?0.47?) is really still worth it.
So who cares about birthdays? I do. If I can give you any advice from all of this mumbo-jumbo, I'd say, set realistic goals for yourself, keep it simple, and I highly recommend taking advantage of this yearly opportunity to remember someone who matters to you. Happy Birthday!!!
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